Pride on 3, Pride on 3 (and Mommas, don't let your babies grow up to be Rashad Johnson)

I have so many other things I need to be doing but I just had to comment on a couple of stories today. First, did any of you see The Biggest Loser last night? If so, did you cry? That is a topic of debate amongst me and some of my family members as I was chastised for laughing at Shultzy & Co (aka the "blue" team) last night. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with a man crying and I personally find that show touching on a regular basis. Furthermore, I don't fault any contest for becoming so emotionally invested during the process. But last night I could not help but laugh as Roger Shultz and his macho teammates cried like babies on the show. And they obviously made no attempt to hold it in whatsoever. Good stuff. Forget ever-shrinking waistbands and disappearing pounds. Never before has it been so obvious that this team is trained by Bob.

Okay, that's one Bama football topic down...one to go. Yesterday was a day that tries men's crimson souls. Between Schultz's bicep tat and potty mouth to Nick Saban's press conference, I found myself begging them to please give me something to work with. As if the past decade hasn't given our rivals plenty of fodder, Nick Saban had to go and say something like this. Let me use these humble blog as a forum on which to personally denounce such ridiculous comments. As some may remember, I defended his reference of Pearl Harbor and 9/11 a while back but I cannot do the same in this situation. As a mother, I can think of at least 100 way I could be more pleased than if my kids grew up to make the kind of decisions Rashad Johnson has made over the past few days but for brevity's sake, I'll narrow it down to three. First, I would be more pleased with my sons if they went to bed at a decent hour. Rashad Johnson was out at a bar at 3 AM. Nothing good happens after midnight, 1 AM tops. Second, I would be more pleased if they weren't at a bar at all. Sure, he's of legal age to consume alcohol but it's probably better for an elite athlete to abstain from alcoholic beverages all together. I'm the most pleased if they just don't drink period. But if they simply must drink, be a better steward of your money and drink at home. It's safer and has got to be cheaper...though in fairness to Rashad, a Bama football player probably hasn't paid for his own drinks since 1925. Thirdly, (is that a word? Who cares? Check out the header... you're in my world now, grandma.) If for some reason you do encounter the po-po police, by all means cease and desist. They usually say things like "Stop! Police! Don't resist!" so be sure you have your listening ears on. If necessary, call a lawyer ASAP but for goodness' sake don't flail your arms in the air and continue to punch. That's pretty much the definition of resisting arrest. And a really good way to end up shot. Or tased. Or both.

But don't take this all too harshly, Rashad... just so you know, donning that Alabama football jersey probably is #2 on my kid's "Top 10 Ways to Please My Overbearing Mother" list.

PS-- If you read to the end of that linked article (like I just did), then you know it's only a matter of time before the entire UA student body floods the TPD's fax machines with statements in Rashad Johnson's defense. Good gravy.